Whether they are learning to play the piano or learning to remember to hand in their homework, it takes practice, practice, practice!
Kids who are forgetful, disorganized, impulsive, and spacey tend to be functioning from their lower brains, the instinctual part of the brain. In order to be on top of things and mindful, they need to be functioning with their prefrontal cortex – the area of the brain responsible for executive functioning skills.
The way kids learn how to function from their front brains (be organized and think before they speak and act) is by being taught how. And then practicing it over and over and over until it becomes habit.
Here’s the challenge for parents and teachers: We must guide them a LOT until it becomes habit. If we teach them and then back off and leave them to it on their own, they may remember their new skills once in a while, but they will likely revert to old habits a lot of the time. This reinforces both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ ways of doing things. This is confusing.
Learning executive functioning skills (thinking through a process before doing it) takes practice, just like learning to play a musical instrument. You wouldn’t expect your child to know how to play Beethoven just because you taught her how to play the scales.
We think these things should just come naturally. And in some families they do – because the adults are ALWAYS modeling how they want their kids to behave. KUDOS to these families! I wish I could have been like them. But I wasn’t. I make tons of mistakes. So I have had to be vigilant about being with them in learning these skills. Because in regular families, it takes a long time. But it’s so worth it.