Our teens and preteens aren’t on Facebook anymore, and if they are, it’s probably to keep in touch with, or placate, the “old” people in their lives. We are appeased when we see their cute Facebook pictures of prom and their adorable cat tricks posts, but we aren’t seeing what’s going on at Instagram, Tumblr, YouTube, Snapchat, Reddit, and Xbox. And you know what? It’s okay. We can’t possibly stay ahead of the curve in the digital world. Our teens are always going to be one step (or ten) ahead of us in this arena.
So I say: Stop trying to micromanage and police every digital post your child makes or reads. It’s impossible to do and causes a lot of unwanted stress and tension between the parents and the child.
Start having conversations about kindness vs. bullying, what’s entailed in making good choices, how to be a good friend, etc. Have family dinner at least four times a week and posit ethical and moral dilemmas for conversation starters ( Google “moral dilemmas to discuss with teens” for ideas). Get your kids thinking about their moral compass. Help them to be independent thinkers and logical decision makers.
The thing is this: you can’t control other people and you can’t predict the future. What you can do is prepare your kids for what may come and help shape their value system. You need them to be able to go out into the world and make good decisions based on their strong gut feelings and the little voice in their heads. Be their guide and their True North, not their P.O.