Chores help kids develop self-efficacy: the feeling of believing in oneself. People who have high self-efficacy are empowered. They are not afraid of challenges; they know that they can accomplish things. They don’t get discouraged when they fail. They figure out what they need to learn or practice so they can be successful next time. People who have low self-efficacy give up easily and don’t try again.
Many parents today feel bad about giving their kids chores to do. And when they do assign tasks, they often feel the need to justify asking their kids to do them. “I have two meetings today and have to do the grocery shopping and Grandma is coming for dinner. Will you please vacuum for me? I just can’t fit it in.” This isn’t necessary. Just politely ask your child to please vacuum the house before Grandma arrives at 5:00, and walk away. Don’t expect the job to be perfect, but do be ready to offer a little constructive criticism. “Thanks for vacuuming, but it looks like you may have missed the hallway. Please go take care of it before dinner. Thanks.” Walk away. If your child balks at the suggestion, just smile and say that we each need to pitch in to take care of the household. And walk away.
Our kids need to learn how to take care of things on their own. If they don’t have the opportunity to practice “adulting” before they leave the house, how can we expect them to handle things when they really are on their own?
https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2015/12/08/research-indicates-sparing-chores-spoils-children-and-their-future-selves/ZLvMznpC5btmHtNRXXhNFJ/story.html