Eating out with kids can be more trouble than it’s worth, but with just a few preparatory details, it can be delightful.
How will our children know how to behave if we don’t teach them? Showing a child how to use a quieter voice in a restaurant and not to stand up and lean over the seat to peer at the patron in the next booth isn’t suppressing their individuality. It’s helping them to adopt acceptable behaviors in public places so that they aren’t sneered at and getting in trouble (two experiences that do affect their self-concept). There are lots of ways a child can be an individual in the restaurant. She can order her own food. She can choose the activity (from provided options such as art supplies, tic tac toe, I Spy, books…) to do while waiting for the food to arrive or to entertain herself while the adults are talking.
If we don’t help her to prepare for an appropriate restaurant experience, and bring items for her to do to keep her occupied when she gets bored, she will start to act out and she will receive messages that she is bothersome. She can’t just inherently know how to behave. It’s our job to teach her. If we come prepared, eating out with kids can be a joyous experience every time.