Have trouble following through on discipline because you feel bad making your child upset? Use a timer! Whether it be on the stove, your phone, or a teddy bear cookie timer, a timer can be your best friend. All it takes is a short conversation with your child to discuss the role of the timer, and then to use it consistently.
Good uses for a timer:
Half hour until bedtime: This is enough time for putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, a bedtime story and a little snuggle. Another timer at bedtime means time for mom/dad to give one last kiss and leave the room. Another great tip: get a bedside lamp and plug it into an automatic shut off timer. Set it to stay on for 45 minutes or so and allow child to read books quietly in bed – no electronics as they stimulate the brain and make it harder to fall asleep.
Time to clean up: Ten minutes before it’s time to change gears the timer goes off to signify that we’ll have to go soon so we need to tidy up. “When the timer beeps, that will mean we need to clean up our toys so we can get ready to go to school. Will you remember what to do when the timer beeps? That’s right, clean up toys.”
Time to go: Set the timer for whatever amount of time you will be at the park, pool, friend’s house, etc. if your child has a particularly hard time with having to leave places. “We are going to stay at the park for one hour. I will set the timer for one hour and then when we hear the beep it will be time to pack our things and get going. What do we do when we hear the beep?”
TV/Video Games: Does your home become a Defcon 1 warzone whenever you take away the electronics? Make a decision about the amount of time they get per day and let the timer be the one to remind them. Be sure to have a consequence that if they are using the devices without the timer they will lose the privilege for the next day. Be ready for negotiations for extra time.
Timers take the pressure off the parents while still allowing them to make and enforce the rules and guidelines. One of the reasons a lot of children melt down is a lack of advanced preparation. Many kids need time to adjust to things. If your child(ren) is one of these, use the timer to give notice of changes: ten minutes until we have to go; five minutes until we have to stop playing and do homework… Timers can make life with kids a LOT easier and reduces the pressure/stress parents experience with enforcing discipline.