Enjoyable time together consists of both new experiences and rituals. Both are ideal, but if you do one or the other, choose rituals. Family rituals are the experiences that ground us in comfort and familiarity. They are the setting for our memories. They are what our kids remember and will want to recreate with their own families one day.
Enjoyable time together is laughter, relaxation, connection, and exchange. It’s the counter weight to discipline and modeling.
Life is stressful and busy and sometimes it may feel like home is your second job. There’s laundry and dinner and vacuuming and organizing the garage and a myriad of other chores. Be mindful of this and make sure to schedule time for having fun together. In our family, it’s meals together and playing games together. We especially like Reverse Charades and The Game of Things. When my boys were younger there was also the reading at bedtime routine. Lately, we’ve been reading Would You Rather questions or mind puzzlers at dinner to avoid the typical “So how was your day?” conversation that usually elicits one word answers.
If you read this and notice that your days are lacking in enjoyable time together, remedy it. Make a list of things to try: weekly talent show (2 minutes per family member); staring and smiling contests; animal hugs at bedtime (how would a giraffe hug?); nail painting party… Need help with ideas? Message me.
When DeFrain and Asay conducted their research to determine the top family strengths, the schoolchildren they interviewed overwhelmingly answered: Doing things together. Whether it’s walks to the park, camping trips, game nights, scavenger hunts at the mall, or baking cookies together, it doesn’t matter. When it’s all said and done, what matters is that our kids have happy family memories of time connecting with one another.